In Spite Of

'We played the flute for you, but you did not dance, we sang a dirge but you did not mourn.' Matthew 11:17

From time to time, I am getting tired of doing this reflection blog.

There are situations when I question if it is worth my time. There are inquiries in my prayers if I am impacting people. Doubts if I am making a difference. Worries if I am creating relevance.  These feelings and thoughts come to mind and heart, especially when nobody cares to read what I write. Days when even my number one fan, my wife, does not bother to click the blog link in her Facebook page. Or when my youngest sister who used to be quick to read what I've written completes her day without visiting my site. Or when a brother in Christ, Rolly Musngi, fails to come on-line and go to his bookmarks to read my blog.

There are maybe thousands of bloggers out in the web. Frankly, I am in awe when blogs about political and entertainment satire, or about sports claim a large readership. Basing from the comments and stats they receive in each of their posts, these sites seem to influence a lot of people. Sort of creating relevance.

Will I just turn to another genre to impact people? Will I bring out my another side to create relevance? Will I shun my commitment to this ministry since I have less circulation?

Jesus described his generation as someone who played the flute and sung a dirge. Yet, Jesus did not dance to their tune. Yet, Jesus did not cry over their lamentations.  Bottom line, Jesus did not allow his calling and commitment be affected with other people's actions.  Further he elaborated, For John came neither eating nor drinking, and they said, 'He is possessed by a demon.' The Son of Man came eating and drinking and they said, 'Look, he is a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners.' (Matthew 11:18-19). No matter what the outside world looks at it, Jesus and John the Baptist maintained their commitment to their calling.  Their generation did not put weight on their lives and in what they do.

In any Christian service that we do, feeling of tiredness is natural. The disappointments are inevitable. Discouragements are always part of the deal. You can go unnoticed. You can serve as invisible. Stats and clicks don't matter if you are not committed. Affirmations don't count if you don't respond to the calling. For we are called to be committed and to be committed to the calling in spite of.